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Adorcism

by Ryan M. Brewer

supported by
sangersw
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sangersw Ryan's music is a breath of fresh air in acoustic storytelling and is delivered with some truly powerful pipes!
David Stash
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David Stash A great artist who deserves much acclaim and recognition!
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1.
Honey, I remember when you hated pet names. You'd rather die than come off looking cute. That's an easy stance to take when death's so far away - we were just kids then. When you're young, being dumb's the fashion - I wore mine like a suit tailored for my first day on the job. A boy is rarely able to put enough food on the table to be your man. It's a nightmare, this life... and the only way to wake up is to die. Honey, I remember when you wouldn't let me be. I'd light a match and watch your walls burn down. Time wet the kindling and I saw my stock was dwindling toward a sale. So you left me for your lonesome to see what love was worth at an independent market far from home. I thought we were pushing daisies so I started pulling ladies through the smoke to keep me from being alone. It's a nightmare, this life... and the only way to wake up is to die. Mama prays to save me from Satan and Hell. I wish Mama'd pray to keep me from datin' and myself. Honey, I remember when you said you can't forgive - it's not a skill you ever learned to use. I must admit, I never saw it as legit until today when you sent me away. It's a nightmare, this life... and the only way to wake up is to die.
2.
Every love is lonely when you're built like me - mind like a smart phone, honey, but a body like a fax machine. I come home with these four leaf clovers drinking dandelion wine. It seems my days of getting lucky have blown off in the winds of time. You're rolling over, scrolling bolder feeds. You leave me here on the other side of sleep... the other side of sleep. Every dream's a nightmare when your mind's on fire. I've got a heart like a hearth come winter and a brain like a funeral pire. All alone on these rural highways making waves in the smallest ponds... Seems my days of climbing ladders have sprung forward and they're moving on. You're rolling over, scrolling bolder feeds. You leave me here on the other side of sleep... the other side of sleep. She's devolving, hollering "follow me". I'm revolving 'round her sun. I've been solving problems one by one. She's forgotten how to read. I'm on the sidelines all over again... climbing this hillside with this boulder again - looking over my shoulder again. You're rolling over, scrolling bolder feeds. You leave me here on the other side of sleep... the other side of sleep. You're rolling over, scrolling bolder feeds. You leave me here on the other side of sleep... the other side of sleep.
3.
Archaeology 04:00
We've got a history, it's hard to read. It's drawn out, dense with subtleties and I'm tired of poring over everything chapter and verse. My memory fails at times but you're so well rehearsed. I remember way back when you were a sapling but a "10". Your roots are growing deeper and I can't dig around them trying to find a trace of something I can comprehend. I'm digging up these bones trying to find the proof of things that I once felt for you. I'm putting them together in ways that resemble things we swore would last forever. They're looking more like monsters... they're looking more like passing trends. We've got a history, it's hard to hear. You're floating further from the pier. I'm tired of playing second fiddle to bartenders and beer and the lies that float like moths across the songs that pierce their ears. I remember way back when I was your first-mate and a "10". My roots are growing deeper and you can't dig around them trying to find a trace of something you can comprehend. I'm digging up these bones trying to find the proof of things that I once felt for you. I'm putting them together in ways that resemble things we swore would last forever. They're looking more like monsters... they're looking more like passing trends. What you may not notice: my feet are in your soles. This one's written just for you, love. As heavy as our past is, I'm looking through your glasses. I'm walking in your shoes, love. I'm digging up these bones trying to find the proof of things that I once felt for you. I'm putting them together in ways that resemble things we swore would last forever. They're looking more like monsters... they're looking more like passing trends.
4.
I feel your touch in the sunlight. I smell your scent on the breeze. I still see your eyes in the clouds in the sky and I still hear your voice through the trees. I wanna know where you go when your mind starts to roam. I wanna be part of that story, baby. You are the shore I've been swimming so hard just to reach... I'm just your stepping stone. Now they're showing up with bells on. They ring sweet in my ears. Especially compared to the bitter refrain of "goodbye" that you sang through the years. They wanna know where I go when my mind starts to roam. They wanna take your place in my story baby. You are the shore I've been trying so hard just to reach... they're just my stepping stones. No one wants to be the one to wonder... No one wants to be the one to wait... I'm no exception where you are. Every time I think I'm going under, your memory starts to burn in my brain. I find no deception where you are. I see your smile in the skyline. It's your steps I trace through these streets. I wanna know where you go when your mind starts to roam. I wanna be part of your story, baby. You are the shore I've been swimming so hard just to reach... I'm just your stepping stone.
5.
It's been hard, I won't lie. Like a diamond record needle moves, I'm feeling every groove like a Seismic sign. It's knocking photos off the walls of my mind. I can't find my footing here tonight. It's been lonesome, and I've been cold. You've been radio silent - the quiet feels like violence to my soul. I've been stumbling punch-drunk 'round this home. I can't get my bearings here alone. Baby locked the front door. Baby took the keys. Baby needs the long way 'round to get on back to me. I said "Don't leave me out all night." It's been telling - my closed door. They've been coming out the woodwork trying to do the good work of the Lord, but the only hand that can mend is the one that tore. I don't think she wants to anymore. Baby locked the front door. Baby took the keys. Baby needs the long way 'round to get on back to me. I said "Don't leave me out all night." I kicked up these rainclouds overhead standing on your front step. You kicked up these hurricane winds and the maps are dead blood red. Don't leave me out all night because, babe, I need your shelter.
6.
In the Weeds 03:49
I wrote a letter to a guy I knew in high school. I never liked him much - now ain't no better. I needed a favor from a figure with some pull - needed it kept a long way off the record. Her daddy bought her that civic for school. She wandered off with some ill-mannered fool. He took it back, there it sat, gathering dust... fighting rust in the weeds. I had a buddy with a shop over in Deming. He don't get out much, but he's a sucker for a sip. I took a bottle and pinch of something green - had him show a thing or two he won't remember teaching me. Patient austerity's the name of the game. Wait until her daddy and the sun go away. Snuck around back, there I sat splicing wires...sparking fires in the weeds. Do you remember that playlist I made for when we tied the knot? We never made it, did we? 35 songs in 7 years strong. Yeah, I was picky but it meant something to me. I let it play all the way to the coast. 755 miles all alone. Five and a half times I played through all of the songs now the writing's on the wall. You looked so small. The speed-bumps did no good at all. I failed to yield 'til you hit the windshield. I took to steering with my left hand. My right is shaking - can't take the getaway speed out on the highway headed west. And the cracks on the windshield are spreading like weeds. I see your face in the weeds.
7.
Pour me a tall glass. Let's have a long laugh - peel off a long-worn layer of rind. I'm exposed - taking chances, taste-testing poison and rushing romances. Пoexaли! Girl, don't mind me and my shaking hands. Baby, let the lens wide open - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long hell of a time. Baby, let the lens wide open (wide open) - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long, long hell of a time. You and me - let's downsize. We'll shed the weight of the wool they're all hiding behind - shed the shepherd and the sheep and the signs. Tiny houses make tiny homes. Tiny voices = no room for being alone. Пoexaли! Girl, don't mind me and my wandering eyes. Baby, let the lens wide open - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long hell of a time. I've been all out of focus for too long now - turn down the noise and the shutter speed. Dark room... Red light... Release. Baby, let the lens wide open - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long hell of a time. Baby, let the lens wide open - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long hell of a time. Baby, let the lens wide open (wide open) - shed a little light on me. I've been living in the dark for a long, long, long hell of a time.

credits

released April 25, 2017

All songs written, performed and engineered by Ryan M. Brewer

Mixed and mastered by Ryan Gibbons at Electric Roy Studios.

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Ryan M. Brewer Alexandria, Indiana

A singer/songwriter by trade, Ryan M. Brewer is more accurately described as a traveling musical storyteller. Having always placed the primary importance on lyricism, his songs tend to float effortlessly between genres...each one falling precisely where it needs to in order to most accurately tell the story. And that's all that matters - songs and stories. ... more

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