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Ryan M. Brewer

by Ryan M. Brewer

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1.
Allegory 02:14
she closes her eyes and she prays for a sign, "am i holding up heaven alone?" he glides through the dark on three glasses of Mark, and he's holding a "7" to go. he mounts his defense like a flying trapeze. she floats into dreams with the greatest of ease... greatest of ease... she's up with the dawn. she's showered and gone by the time that his noon alarm rings. he curses the sun, but the battle's been won. "let's see what mistakes today brings." she don't have much time but she spends what she's got on remorse. "with a budget like mine," he says "regret's one thing i can't afford." come one, come none, come many... pray, let me sing you disaster a'plenty. be these songs deserving a penny... decide for yourselves. the story's been long in distilling, pray you should lend me your ears for the filling... take these lessons to heart and, God willing, we fix this ourselves...
2.
let the window's weight fall into place. let the sunshine's rays hide from your face. let me sing you to sleep. close your eyes. paradise is only a breath away... and if you think he's there waiting on the cusp of a dream... there's only one way to see. let the wild-eyed rage fall from your face. let a child-like gaze take its place. let me sing you to sleep. and if you think he's there waiting on the cusp of a dream, as real as me with a lei made out of daisies, well then let's see. they say you can pray and the plane may delay, but it's not gonna save you the jet-lag. so lay back and let me sing you to sleep. close your eyes. paradise... and if you think he's there waiting on the cusp of a dream, there's only one way to see...
3.
i have loved a liar, and i have cursed at a saint. she would have me to leave you now, but i would sooner see her hang. i have sung alone at night, and i have sung with the church choir. i have laughed in the face of God and i am not alright. and if i bury my dreams in you, will she still follow me home? and if your bed is made where your heart is lain... i will dwell in your song... i will dwell in your song. the land of milk and honey was a lie. like moses we were all made to wander. if the drive for money kills the mind, then i have just now truly learned to ponder. and if i bury my dreams in you, will she still follow me home? and if your bed is made where your heart is lain... i will dwell in your song. i will dwell in your song. i will dwell in your song.
4.
"it's out of date," she said."all of it. this town, the people. that whole...you chasing me thing. it's just...too...old fashioned. and not like a quiet-weekend-trip-to-the-country old fashioned. not a soda-shop-with-waitresses-in-poodle-skirts-and-roller-skates old fashioned either. we're not talking a sexy-low-rise-wide-flare-stone-washed old fashioned." "if it's so old fashioned, then why am i the one that's seen and not heard?" he thought. "why am i the one who only speaks when spoken to and even then...only in adoring affirmation of your opinion on the matter?" he wondered. "why am i the one who keeps closed lips and an open mind?" "and you know it's all bullshit, right? all that small-town-usa bullshit? this whole...proud-to-be-an-american-midwestern-soccer-mom stuff? i'm not cut out for any of it. i just can't do it. and i won't do it. so you can just derail that little mental train before it leaves the station." "i'm not so sure you wouldn't hitch your skinny ass a ride on this train if you ever bothered to ask where it was going. i've got plans too, you know? i hate these people just as much as you do. and this place...this shit-eating place. i've got plans too. and contrary to your unmerited beliefs they do not include filling you up to watch you spit me back out so this suburban sandtrap can swallow me all over again. i'd like to think my apples deserve to fall as far from this dead end tree as i can accommodate. this place is up-hill in all directions and i'm not sure the little buggers could roll out if they wanted to. call me old fashioned...but i just wish them better. "maybe i AM old fashioned," he slipped and thought aloud. "you're goddamn right you are. like robert redford or something. it's a disaster."
5.
you were a live one, dear...but you left me alone. i got me a dead one now. she's always at home. why'd you start so early? love that young disturbs me, you know? it's something i've thought about. innocence is like money in the dryer... if you weren't aware you had any of it prior... and then you lose it, and then it's gone... tell me, how much are you out? you were the best one, dear...but you underachieved. i got me a pretty good one now, and you better believe. ignorance is like whiskey in the bottle... as long as you're certain you've got control of that throttle... because when you lose it...well, then it's gone. tell me, how much are you out? she goes out of her way not to hurt me. she'd never desert me. innocence is like money in the dryer... if you weren't aware you had any of it prior... and then you lose it, and then it's gone... tell me, how much are you out?
6.
if he wants me, he can have me. i am not afraid of anything, not anymore. take me back where i belong. i can feel him. all of my bones, rusting over...binding up so tight. swear i just might. take me back where i belong. they've been throwing quite a few weddings these past few months. they've got me going, got me sitting right down in front. all of the jazz has got me thinking that... you are long gone. i am waiting... for a God whom i'm not sure will show. how can we know? take me back where i belong. not 'til death will you and i part. what comes after? what am i to do...here without you? take me back where i belong. they've been throwing quite a few weddings these past few months. they've got me going, got me sitting right down in front. all of that jazz has got me thinking that... not 'til death will you and i part. what comes after? what am i to do...here without you? take me back where i belong...
7.
Strings 03:12
it's getting cold as we wait for the winter scold... for a time to feel remorse about our summer sins and then... we'll grow tired of it again. spring will come and loosen up our... strings - they pull from heavenly hands full. we dance like marionettes across a stage. life, this hornless bull, spins desperate circles 'round the world. we all hang, slack, dependent on his rage. it's a dirty job but someone's gotta sit atop my world and watch it crumble. someone's gotta slap us on our wrists lest we may stumble. someone's gotta rule our weary souls. someone's gotta rule our weary souls. am i alone in the way i view this guilded throne? the only one he ever led me to just couldn't wait to go without a need to let me know. now i need a drink to help me loosen up these... strings - they choke like words i never spoke... as i watched her wander off and out of sight. i danced to these jilted notes, forced a smile each time i woke. recurring dreams and memories of her each night. it's a dirty job but someone's gotta sit atop my world and watch it crumble. someone's gotta slap us on our wrists lest we may stumble. someone's gotta rule our weary souls. someone's gotta rule our weary souls. i'll climb these strings to the sky. i'll set you free and i'll slide... back down my strings to your side. head to the sea and hide. head to the sea and hide. these strings they pull from heavenly hands full, and we dance like marionettes across a stage...
8.
doctor, i can't take no more. all this stress will leave me stroked out on the floor. everything they let us believe in is all a crock of shit and that's what's got me reelin'. all the girls - they all got fat. we're supposed to pretend that we don't notice that. all the whores got knocked up cold and if my mom finds out...she'll say "i told you so." if you don't mind me, i think i'll lay here for a while. i'll let your love flow down around me like a freshly laundered towel and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything. doctor, i can't take this place. it's digging ditches in these lines across my face. faith is all i've left to hold on to, but church is just a club that i don't belong to. all the preacher wants is cash, so he can feed his kids while lying on his ass. meanwhile the lost and broken starve. they've got their arms out-stretched to uncle sam, but he's just as lost as they are. if you don't mind me, i think i'll lay here for a while. i'll let your love flow down around me like a freshly laundered towel and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything. they said "be careful for what you wish." they said "it just might be what you get." ah hell, well i don't think that's true, no. you see - i wish my ass off on every star stretched out across a black night sky so far... in the morning - i wake to only you. you see? all i've got is you. maybe all i need is you... if you don't mind me, i think i'll lay here for a while. i'll let your love flow down around me like a freshly laundered towel and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything. if you don't mind me, i think i'll lay here for a while. i'll let your love flow down around me like a freshly laundered towel and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything. and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything. and i'll let you believe that i'm fine with everything...

about

This album was recorded in the Fall of 2011 in Muncie, Indiana with the help of some very good friends.

A previously unreleased bonus track (Fresh Laundry) was added to the album as part of the 4 year anniversary of the album's release.

All 8 tracks were subsequently re-mastered and re-released in May of 2016.

credits

released February 4, 2012

All songs written and performed by Ryan M. Brewer

Engineered and mixed by Nicholas Rapley of Dr. Richard's Audio Remedies

ReMastered by Ryan Michael Gibbons of Elixir Recordings

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about

Ryan M. Brewer Alexandria, Indiana

A singer/songwriter by trade, Ryan M. Brewer is more accurately described as a traveling musical storyteller. Having always placed the primary importance on lyricism, his songs tend to float effortlessly between genres...each one falling precisely where it needs to in order to most accurately tell the story. And that's all that matters - songs and stories. ... more

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