trails

by Ryan M. Brewer

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released July 26, 2014

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Ryan M. Brewer Indianapolis, Indiana

A singer/songwriter by trade, Ryan M. Brewer is more accurately described as a traveling musical storyteller. Having always placed the primary importance on lyricism, his songs tend to float effortlessly between genres...each one falling precisely where it needs to in order to most accurately tell the story. And that's all that matters - songs and stories. ... more

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Track Name: two cents
i found two cents on the street. does that make me an expert on the city? your "no" was resounding. "these urban surroundings will tear you apart at the seams".
and you wanted me all to yourself - stuffed and mounted on your mantle. you just couldn't find the time to wield the taxidermy knife so i bled out and drifted to hell.
now the fire, it burns through my skin. i was unrecognizable, even for him. he came down to save me, my sins - he forgave though, of my i.d., he was not convinced.
now your mantle is too nice for me, in this house that you built all alone with your money. the closet down the hall is better than no spot at all, so i hang like an out-of-season fleece.
she said "let him eat cake, if he will. i've been breaking the pharmacy, he's been draining the still. with his head up on blocks, i will watch that thing pop like a pill."
i found two cents on the street.
Track Name: what are you mad about?
an innocent vendetta, if there is such a thing. her heart don't know no better - she's full of broken strings. you've got a mom and daddy, she's got a cemetery plot she visits once a year. what you've got, she wants badly. she does her best to kill what's left up in between her ears.

what we've got right now is a rogue and a roustabout - trying their very best to save a woman from the man she's mad about. girl, what are you mad about?

an unfamiliar feeling, she wants someone to love. she don't sleep all that much but you've got what she's dreaming of. she gives away her body to any stranger who can navigate her map of scars. her gritty grin is gaudy - her focus wanders off and up among the stars.

at the end of every day, you lay your weary head down on the bed she threw away. she spends that money to get that loose/liquor kind of love. it's just a matter of time before she stumbles through that ghost town i came from.
Track Name: what you think
she burns like an indian summer in the middle of an inuit freeze. she comes and goes and warms my bones before she leaves but, baby, please...i swear it ain't what you think.
she comes at a quarter to midnight. she makes me late from lunch. she'll pull me down a long, dark hall just to follow a hunch. but baby please...i swear it ain't what you think.
hold me closer, tiny dancer. say you'll never let me go. whisper softly in my ears love - tell me things i need to know. i will dive into her river - i will wash my body clean. i will show up at your doorstep with a halo over me, but baby, please...i swear it ain't what you think.
i've gotta get my arms around her. i've gotta pull her delicate strings. it rocks my bones, the subtle tones - the way she sings, but baby, please...i swear it ain't want you think.
Track Name: numbers and names
they say the world's a smaller place here in the information age. they tie your number to your name and never have to see your face. what if we can't go back to the big ol' world of the past? what if we can't go back to how it used to be?
what about love? what about tenderness? what about the faces in these places on our list? what about peace? what about liberty? they say a child without a mother - you can't have one without the other.
take all my money to line the pockets of your friends. the busy bees out making honey while the queen's lying low up in her den. what if we can't go back to a big ol' world like that?
Track Name: burned and blinded
there's a feeling i get on days like these where it's like i've got some rare disease and i'm doomed to destroy everything before it starts. i just wanna get drunk - watch "walk the line", pretend a pretty little girl like june were mine, and if i ever died - she'd die too, of a broken heart.

they say you lay your heart where you lay your head and there's a pretty little girl sleeping in my bed but she's banished me to sleep alone on the couch. i could lay down face-first in the dirt just to save her shoes from this wretched earth and she'd tell her friends i'm a no-good, lazy slouch.

and i say "don't you go. you're the light inside my life that lets me see." and she says "don't you know you're the bright that burned and blinded little me".

there's a feeling i get on nights like this where i think i'll disappear out west and wander off into a mountain range for good. i just wanna get drunk - watch the sun go down, as far as i can from this dead-end town, just be in mother nature's neighborhood.

they say you lay your heart where you lay your head. there's a loyal little pup - sleeps beside my bed. truth be told, she's the only one i need. i could pass out, face-first in the dirt - there'd be no one there to judge my worth...just me and that dog living, fancy-free.

when the sun goes down, i'm lonesome. i'm weaker than i talk. these lips are less than wholesome, and they rarely talk to God...but when they do, i swear it's true, hallelujah they ask for you.
Track Name: truth is...
i'm in love with a thought. it does not love me back. i still sleep with it in my mind all the time - i can't sleep alone. truth is, i think we're wasting time - acting as though it is all well and fine... pouring sand from the hourglass and into the night.
i'm in love with a girl. she's my world - watch it burn away. i still sleep with her in my bed, though our love is dead - i can't sleep alone.
i was born with the midas touch, but by your standards that gold isn't worth too much. i'm a model of efficiency, you say a studio ain't fit for me. i've got a handle on a place to stay, you say "don't go getting so complacent on me". well, that's what i'm trying to say.
Track Name: glad i know
i remember when you said nose rings were trashy, but now you've got yourself a whole new gang of girls - pierced up and smiling for the camera like there ain't a more pretty thing in the world. you were looking like you just rolled out of bed, child, with your ruby-red lips starting to fade. i just can't help feeling like i dodged a bullet the night i bit one and let you walk away.

i remember when all my favorite bands were ones that you couldn't stand - they couldn't make you tap your toes. that's the fact i'm trying to surrender - baby, you're the great pretender. now i'm just glad i know.

i remember when you didn't have much to say - tried your best to be a wallflower all day. now, it seems, you can't shut your goddamn mouth about things you know nothing about - trying to steal her friends away.

i remember the day your mom got out. i remember you said you had your doubts. imagine my surprise at the realization - i had the very same reservations you were ever gonna stick around.
Track Name: pretty girls everywhere
i found myself in the city of sin. i was watching the wedding of my two friends and i hoped it'd find me hopeful but i found myself with a boat-full. it was filling faster than i could bail with this bitter brain like a bottomless pail and i'm doing more harm than not. the maid of honor took her best shot - she called me out. she said "no one knows why the hell you were there." on the outside, i didn't seem to care. on the inside, i knew she was true - i had no business being a part of the crew. you see, other people's happiness just shines a light on the fact that i can't seem to get our love right so i disappeared and blamed it on the liquor from the previous night - she called me out.

the west coast embraced me with open arms and empty hands so i tucked them in my pocket where i had hoped their cash would land. i watched their world with rosie eyes and crossed their desert, long and dry, just to wet my lips on a stranger's in the night - she called me out. she said "keep tyler in your prayers. some nights, he finds this all hard to bear". when did i become the guy who cares and cares alike? i said "i don't often talk to heaven, but if i did - it wouldn't take a second thought". there i was, paid for and bought - she called me out.

buried in austin for a string of shows where we found some girls who were good to go until i opened my mouth and ruined the evening for joe. i'd like to think it's just something i do out of some bizarre principle i've gotta prove but the truth is...i don't think i could be nice if i had to - she called me out. she said "the difference between being edgy and mean is - you don't gotta say everything you think. you see, other folks have feelings and their self-esteem might not be through the ceiling like yours". take a moment of silence for the thought i could change then we'll shoot it and bury it in unmarked graves because i'll sleep off this whiskey and wake up just the same - she called me out.

baby, take me away. there are pretty girls everywhere and they've all got their own bags to check or claim. it seems i've tied my ribbon to yours and it might as well be a chain.
Track Name: tear the world apart
i live my life like a board game - roll the dice, cross your fingers, let the chips fall where they may. what's a boy to do? it's plain as me and you - we're all wandering in circles anyway.
if i could tear this world apart, sell the pieces off and start it over new, grant original sin pardon, build us all a brand new garden, name it after you... if the devils still there snaking i will chase him down and break him clean in two. i know i'm miserable with planning. i've got a tendency toward ranting but if you'll have me girl, i swear this much is true - i'll tear the whole world down and build it back for you.
i run my mouth like a hurricane - popping off, cross your fingers i don't conjure tears like rain. what's a girl to do when he is rubber, she is glue? these words are daggers from the blue. you live your life like a road map. you know i'll never be like that, but if you'll have me girl...i swear this much is true...
Track Name: all ears
i'm man enough to know i'm not ready to be grown - i've still got dreams of never getting old. when you do, your ghosts retire - set there sheets on fire and you're left with ash and a closet full of bones.
God and drugs take a certain frame of mind to trust. i'm not above the idea of helplessness and love, but i've got the world between my finger tips (and whiskey on my breath). just stop this room from spinning - i'm right back where i was the night you left.
i'm man enough to say i was wrong, but not to pray and ask to be forgiven of my ways. if God is truly bigger than our calculus can figure, why's he give a damn about my day-to-day?
God and drugs are too time consuming to take up simultaneous. it seems you must choose which one to love.
she says that it's her place to put a smile on my face. baby, then i'm all ears. i'm all ears now, and if you've got a plan how to turn a frown upside-down...well, baby, then i'm all ears. i'm all ears now.